It is 6am and I am lying awake thinking about my daughter who will soon be on her way to hospital for a planned caesarian to deliver her second child.
I can see the sun popping through the curtain. I am a very light sleeper so we had black out linings put on our curtains to help me sleep a little longer, but this morning I knew I would wake early.
I send her a quick text to wish her all the best and to tell her not to worry about her first born who was staying with us while she was in hospital. She soon sends a text back to say, ‘get some more sleep Mum, your day will be full enough with your granddaughter’.
But of course, I cannot sleep as I am sure most Mums cannot at times like this. I decided to quietly go downstairs and make a cup of tea. I check my phone to look at the video camera which is positioned so I can see my granddaughter in her cot. The wonders of technology still amaze me. She is still sound asleep and has no idea how her world is about to change after today.
The sun is shining brightly, and the sky is clear blue. It sends a me a pleasant shiver down my spine.
I pop the kettle on, and I can hear a slight murmur from my granddaughters room but when I check the video she is still sleeping.
No sooner had I got back upstairs with a cuppa for me and my husband when we could hear our granddaughter stirring in her cot. My son in law dropped her off while she was asleep last night so it will be quite a surprise for her when she wakes up at Nanas.
She didn’t seem in the least bit surprised just happy to see us and we were soon all dressed and down for breakfast.
I cannot help but keep looking at my phone even though I know it is far too early to have any news. Its like a reflex, and I just cannot stop checking it.
After breakfast we decided to go out for the morning to a local animal farm as our granddaughter loves animals. The morning seemed to drag, and I only had one text from my daughter to say the ward she was on had a couple of emergencies so it could be a while before she went down.
Fortunately, it was not long before a text came through from my son in law to say my daughter had delivered a beautiful baby girl weighing 5lbs and that Mum and baby were both doing well.
I felt such a relief and gave my granddaughter a great big hug and told her she had a little baby sister. Of course, she was too young to understand but I just wanted that hug which I had missed from my daughter. She had to shield for the whole of her pregnancy due to Covid-19 and I was looking forward to a real hug from her when we next saw her.
The following week was all a bit hectic while looking after our granddaughter. She was very happy staying with us but like any 18-month-old was nonstop from the minute she got up until she went to bed. My adrenalin kept me going but I was anxiously waiting to see my daughter. Of course, with Covid-19 it meant that I could not go and visit her in hospital but on day 7 Mum and baby made it home safely.
Since the birth my daughter wanted me to rest up while her husband was at home on paternity leave. I still popped over for a quick coffee and a hold of another very precious human being and still in awe of how clever nature is.
I was extremely tired after the full week and rested up to bring my strength back up, but my persistent back pain came back with a vengeance. My recent steroid injection had not worked as well this time, so I am taking a lot more medication than before. Then, suddenly out of the blue my neck pain came back which is something that has not bothered me for a while.
I have had two fusions in my neck over 30 years ago and deal with the discomfort without much trouble, but this pain was like a knife poking in my neck and sending pins and needles down my arm and numbness into the back of my head.
It felt wrong, even trying to lie completely flat it felt like I was lying on a tennis ball. It worried me a bit, so I decided to get in touch with my GP to see what he thought. Unfortunately like many other practices now, there seems to be a shortage of staff with many being pinged through the NHS app so my surgery could not even offer me a telephone appointment but felt that an appointment with the physiotherapist might help.
I was just happy to see or speak to anyone in the medical profession.
The physiotherapist said he was the LAST person I should be seeing and that I really needed to see a consultant in hospital which of course is not easy with Covid-19 and many more needing to see consultants.
I guess I just need be careful, up my meds and wait for an appointment to come through at some point. It brought past times back to me and my last cervical surgery and I just hoped it was an acute attack and nothing more sinister.
Meanwhile I had a job on my hands as I have only just finished writing the second book for my granddaughter and her birthday is early August.
Each page has images on which I designed and painted myself with the first book I wrote for her, so I must do the same with the second. I just hope my neck holds up to finish it in time.